JUST THINKING ABOUT AFTERWARDS....

I battle bitter feelings for the stupidest of reasons. When the original "BIG LARRY" (my deceased husband / father of Tina and Larry) died - I begged all of the family members to contribute and he had the most lowly of grave-side funerals - but at least he was buried between a beautiful dogwood tree at his feet and another huge tree at his head and 2 plots over a young man from our church was buried. For 20 yrs I had to beg and borrow and plead - and even in the end - divorced but newly in love - I was the only one who could or would do this for my children so they would have a place to pay tribute to their father who is with the Lord in heaven. Me? I would like to be buried simply in the plot next to him for my kids' sake and Carey said it'd be fine and a headstone BATTON at top and below on the left LARRY J. and on the right GAIL L. and b & d mo./yr for each . HOWEVER, it won't be like that, when my time comes - the state will pick up my body by the coroner and be put in a mass cremation and discarded - ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Formerly I had made preparations - but WHY - just let the state take the $250 and be done with my earth suit - for I will be in Glory Land in my heavenly robe. I shouldn't let this irritate me but sometimes - just sometimes it does. My mom was buried - a lovely viewing and funeral - but my Daddy is remarried and who has or will ever "visit" her burial place. Such a waste of money. Carey will be cremated by the Navy and scattered out to sea with full honors. I sure do love him. I want to live many many more yrs with him. I only want to be buried next to my kids' father for their sake and no other reason. Stupid - I guess - #justsayin.....